sunset_moth: STARS on shoulder (Default)

Summary: Commander Jules Shepard, a talented combat engineer of the Alliance Navy, decides that this time, they would fight the Reapers by their own means. Rule no. 1 of tech school is, “If you didn’t build it or know how to take it apart—don’t use it. Better to use your own than tech that’ll bite you in the ass someday.”

A “What if Shepard didn’t use the Crucible?” fic.

Archive Of Our Own link here.

FF.net link here.

Chapter One Commentary:

1) Yes, there appears to be a lot of talking in this chapter. :| I couldn't get all of the characters to shut up, sadly. Also, a lot of things had to be explained. I hope it wasn't too much of an infodump.

2) Oriana is going to work for the Shadow Broker? Yep. Liara needs more helpers, the silly chit. Also, I've always wanted an excuse for Miranda to punch Shepard in the face. /grins

3) So I really want to draw Shepard's skill screen, with the Reputation, Renegade and Paragon bar at the left, except that instead of Paragon (or Renegade), it says, 'Liara'. Hmmm... (Liara is Shep's moral compass after all. ;3)

4) Alternate dialogue:

"...I hope you know what you're doing, Shepard."

"On the bright side, sir, if it turns out that I have made all of the wrong decisions, there is always 'New Game Plus'."

5) Sean: I can't help but giggle every time I hear of Admiral Hackett. Because everytime he ends a conversation he says "Hackett out." And every time I do I pretend to have a hairball like a cat and... hack it out.

6) Funny, while I was rereading the scene on Shepard's justification, I had just watched an episode of Mouretsu Pirates, when the two main characters talk about electronic warfare. One of them says that to win this kind of war, you had to get into your enemy's system and take control of their ship before they even realize what's happening. Now think about the Reapers. Now think about the entire game. Hmmmm... Indoctrination theory indeed...

7) The next scene had to undergo a rewrite. :| This is why it took me longer to release this! On the bright side, I did add another 2k to this chapter. :|

8) Udina is sooo acerbic. I'm beginning to like him. x)

9) I realize that Shepard likes to admit a lot of things in this chapter. :| Well, I do not claim mastery over the siblings of the word 'said'. Ah well.

10) Considering Shepard is famous for her mind in this fic, I figured Traynor would probably be more initially attracted to her than in canonverse. Also, yes, I do not like the comm. specialist that much. :/ Interrupting a potentially romantic scene between Liara and Shepard? Booh. (Did I mention I can be quite childish? :P)

11) Editing 8000+ words is not fun at all. :| I think I will stick to shorter chapters. 18 pages is too much for me.

 

May 2012

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